


How Things Changed

by topswearing



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Dubious Consent, First Time, M/M, Pon Farr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 12:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12606452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topswearing/pseuds/topswearing
Summary: Spock had not realised the depth of his feelings for his Captain when Pon Farr begins.





	How Things Changed

Spock needed to meditate. He looked down studiously at the science board and watched as his hands automatically pressed the relevant buttons. Outwardly, he looked normal but inside, there was a maelstrom. Spock was desperately trying to distance himself from the emotions that were churning within. He could feel them as if they were trying to escape from every pore. In the last day, he had begun to feel strange and with dread, he was beginning to realise that Pon Farr was upon him. 

It was logical to remain on the bridge until the end of his shift in order that suspicions were not aroused. He needed to get in contact with the New Vulcan in the privacy of his own room. However, it was getting to the point where that would be impossible and he gave himself a 13.2 percent chance of becoming fully emotionally compromised in the next fifteen minutes. He could feel the panic welling up inside and he took a deep breath and attempted to clear his mind, using the Vulcan relaxation techniques instilled in him from childhood. Spock had not noticed the Captain, Jim Kirk, scrutinising his every action and becoming increasingly worried. He could not put his finger on it, but Jim instinctively knew that something was terribly wrong with his First Officer. 

"Is everything okay, Mister Spock?", he enquired. 

"All systems are performing adequately, Captain." Nobody except Jim noticed it had taken the Vulcan longer than usual to reply and that there was a steelier edge to his voice. Jim furrowed his brow. 

"In that case, I wonder if you would come with me to Engineering? There is a design matter that I would like to discuss."

It was nearing the end of the shift and Spock calculated how long it was likely the Captain would keep him from being able to help himself. It was a risk but Spock could think of no way to turn down the Captain's request. He decided that he would find a way to excuse himself if it became too much. 

"Of course, Captain", he nodded and got up from his chair, hyper-aware of every movement that he was making. 

"Great. Sulu, you have the conn."

Once they were in the turbo-lift, Jim pressed the relevant button and turned towards Spock expectantly. Spock stared ahead with his hands clasped behind his back and Jim began to wonder whether he had been imagining things. Upon closer inspection, however, he realised Spock was much paler than usual and noticed a slight tremor in his tightly clasped hands. 

"Spock."

"Yes, Captain." He did not turn to look at him. 

Jim scrambled for words. The trip to Engineering had been a ruse to get Spock somewhere private but he had intended to go there anyway so he could invent a reason to explain why he had called Spock away in the event everything had been in Jim's imagination. Worry washed over him as he realised that would not be the case, and he quickly punched the turbo-lift button that would take them to his own room. 

Spock inclined his head. "May I ask why you have changed our destination?"

"I want to talk to you about something important. I thought it best that we have privacy". Jim did not want to scare Spock away whilst he still had an escape route. 

Spock fought down his dismay. This was totally unlike the Captain and he could see only two possibilities, both with terrifying consequences. 1) The Captain had received special orders and a lengthy discussion, for which Spock did not have the time, was about to ensue or, 2) The Captain was ill. With all the emotions already coursing through Spock, it took all his self-control not to grip Jim by the shoulders and demand an answer. 

He cleared his throat, "Are you quite well, Captain?"

The turbo-lift stopped. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. C'mon."

They walked through the entrance to Jim's room. 

"Computer. Increase temperature five degrees." Jim stared at Spock. 

"And lock the door. Only open on my command."

Spock snapped his head towards the Captain.

"Captain, I fail to see why it is necessary to..."

"It is necessary." Jim interrupted with an air of finality. "Now, what's wrong"?

Spock stiffened. "That is a question that has no logical answer. I do not know to what you are referring."

"Let me be more specific." Jim stepped towards him and at this new proximity, Spock realised he was in trouble. He had not realised the magnitude of his feelings for Jim until that very second when he experienced a rush that nearly doubled him over. Having only just started to experience the onset of Pon Farr, he should have had plenty of time but Jim was accelerating proceedings at a terrifying pace. 

Spock drew himself to full height and took a deep, steadying breath. 

"I can see that something is troubling you and I need you to tell me what it is." There was silence as Spock attempted to compose himself. "Are you ill? Do I need to get Bones?"

Using every ounce of control he could muster, Spock finally spoke. "Captain, I must insist that you unlock the door at once."

Jim studied him for a moment. "Vulcans never lie, right? Don't avoid the question."

"I cannot be held culpable for my actions is you do not open the door right now."

Jim's eyebrows rose and he took a step backwards. "Are you threatening me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Captain..." Spock stopped and focused on taking deep breaths. 

"Shit, Spock. Just tell me what's the matter."

Slowly Jim started to edge towards his First Officer. Spock's eyes were closed and he seemed to be in pain. He carefully reached out his hand and laid a palm on Spock's upper arm. Spocks eyes flew open and Jim gasped in shock.

There was a burning in Spock's eyes that Jim had not seen since the time he had forced him to become emotionally compromised on the bridge. He gripped Jim's wrist and shakily removed the hand from his shoulder. 

Fear rose up in Jim but he tried not to show it. 

"Captain..." Spock struggled. "You must open the door for your own safety. I am begging you."

Jim stalled as tried to decide on the best course of action. "You need to tell me what's happening," he said determinedly.

"It is a Vulcan matter. We do not discuss it wi..." Suddenly, Spock flung himself backwards, as far away from Jim as he could get. "OPEN THE DOOR! NOW!"

The blood fever had well and truly begun.


End file.
